And Zen What

There's now a new form to sign and return to China before TA (travel approval) can be issued.

This will add weeks and weeks to the already long wait for Seven.

This is incredibly upsetting. I'm finding myself unable to do anything at all; I'm just in turmoil. I never thought that I'd still be waiting this far into January.

The standard comfort lines just don't help--you know the ones: you'll forget all about it once she's home, you'll look back and realize it turned out to be perfect timing, that kind of thing.

It is oddly, I think, like everything else associated with having children in one's life: knowledge is one thing; experience is always another. I know it is "just" a few (4, 6, 8, whatever) weeks more, and that she's lived 3 and a half years without me.

But it isn't "just" a few weeks more. Because she's had to live 3 and a half years without me.

It feels just like when one of my kids is having surgery, and I'm waiting to get to the recovery room.

Nothing, nothing can help. Nothing but getting to China and taking Seven in my arms- she'll finally have a mama, and the hole in my heart will finally be filled by that no doubt kicking and screaming, temporarily traumatized, but much-loved little girl.

Now then. Where DID I hide that chocolate?